I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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