Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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