At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
