im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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