I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
