i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
