HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
