garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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