I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
