what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
