I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
