u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
