i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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