Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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