We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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