I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
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