was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
