i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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