I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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