If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
