We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
