I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
