I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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