So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
