Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
