So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
