I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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