How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
