escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
