drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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