You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
