It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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