come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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