Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I need a burrito and a hug.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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