it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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