she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
