my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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