I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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