You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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