I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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