Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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