Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
