you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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