But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
