I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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