Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
