i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Are we still banned from the library?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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