The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
