ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
