That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
