chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
