one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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