yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
