Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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