it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
ok first of all what the fuck
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
