what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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