turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
