Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
