Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
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